Wednesday 9/5/12

Hello out there!
I hope you all are doing well and life is going ah-mazingly!! 
I am back.....we will see.....I figure I will update you all on where I am at now a days!

Nothing much has really changes in my life...lately. I have been trying to grasp the emotional side of weight loss. This is probably the most challenging part of the whole thing. 

As of Friday 8/31/12:

Weighed in at: 171.4 lbs (size 14 pant size)
This means as of 8/31/12 I have lost a total of 108.6 lbs (2010 - 280 lbs, size 24 TIGHT pant size) since 2010

This has been a hard adjustment for me. I have issues when I look in the mirror still...sometime I feel skinny...and sometime I feel like the Big girl still. It is very challenging to me. I am trying to accept compliments now as well...sometime they get away from me but I am trying my best to let them absorb...because in reality my mind is messed up, outsiders are seeing me for what I really look like. Yes Shasta...you are smaller...you can fit into tight spaces...you are beautiful. LOL! 

When I was 108 lbs heavier I got, "Oh yeah she is amazing, she has a awesome personality." other people who are morbidly obese may get "She has a pretty face" I never really looked at it in a bad way until now really....that is really peoples nice way of saying "She's FAT" It is something I can't get out of my head. I revert back to it now even, when people tell me how good I look or how beautiful I am. This is what I am trying to overcome. 

This isn't a joke to me...this is my life. This is everything I have lived. I am not hiding anymore. I have image issues. I always have. I don't want this to rub off on my daughter, that is why I am trying to work it out now. I want Madi to be confident with herself, to know what healthy is. She deserves to have a chance to live her life to the fullest...I don't want her to have to go through the same torture I went through in elementary and middle school. I want her to respect her body. All I can do is teach her what I know. She is a beautiful, amazing little girl and probably will conquer the world...and I want her to believe that she can! 

Over this past 8-9 months I have had A LOT of support. I have made new friends and have lost some. This is life, people come and go. I realize now it is ok to part ways sometimes. Sometimes people are just there to make a mark on your life good or bad for a tiny bit of time....some are there for a lifetime. I appreciate all of you that have been there for me whether it had been for 5 minutes or 5 years. Times change people change and that is ok. 

I hope I will be able to keep this posting up again. It feels good to get it out sometimes. 

You define your own life.  Don’t let other people write yourlife’s story for you. - www.marcandangel.com

Thank you for reading.
Shasta

Vacation Brain

Did you think i was not going to write tonight?!?! Well thanks a lot! LOL! Thank you for believing in me! HAH!

I want to say that if you are actively in my life, you most likely will be in my blog....so sorry about yer luck!

Why is it that toddlers need to have tantrums? Does anyone really benefit from it? I am pretty sure I do not!!!! I though it was terrible twos...but have been informed that twos are cake compared to the threes.....

I have not done anything on my list of things to to before i go on Vacation. I have been working late and my brain is mush! LOL! I think i am already on vacation!

I am really doing good with eating and making sure I exercise everyday. With that going for me I am really excited to weigh in on Friday! KEEPing it DAY by DAY!!!

I got my blog in for the day!
Have a good night!!

-CS

Not so sunny southern CA

I walk about a mile (give or take) at lunch and after work every week day. Today it is supposed to rain all day, this will be effecting me and my exercise if it does not change...LOL! Upside I will figure something else out to do but COME ON NOW, I love walking and clearing my head and getting fresh air.......OK over my weather rant...


I had a great weekend! The weather was nice, I am super proud of my self, I woke up at 6:15am on Saturday and Sunday and went for a walk...I also included some jogging intervals into my walk....yep! that is right! i jogged!!! I did 1.853 miles both days in about 32 minutes! Which is amazing to me considering when I walk at work it is a little over a mile and takes me about 30 minutes. I was and AM so proud I pushed myself to do it. I am not going to lie, I am embarrassed to even jog on the street when cars drive by, because I do not want them to look at me and make fun of me....I will be working on my insecurities day by day also!



I was introduced to a new app called "My Fitness Pal" which I love now! It is a great food/exercise log/social network! So if you do not use it then GET IT! :)




One week from Tuesday DB, my mom, and I will be on our way to Florida to visit family! This is a much needed vacation! I think this will be a good break for me since I was down and out for quite some time....I got DB packed and all ready to go...now I will just have to pack me...aaaggg!


We will be celebrating DB's 3rd birthday there with family! I cannot believe she is going to be 3!! Where did the time go! She is growing in to such a beautiful character! I just cherish her! She is one of my top 5 reasons to getting on track and getting my s&!% together, weight and health wise! I want her to live healthy and love herself, but if she sees me always down and fat to be blunt she will pick it up like a bad habit. Boy does that scare me! I do not want her to live the life I did, where you do not love yourself,not confident, basically just faking happiness. Ask your self, would you want your kid to grow up like that?


This week is going to be super busy for us, we will not be hanging out with friends or anything. I have to finish my bathroom, make tutus, put a scrap book together....list goes on and on! 


I hope you all have a great day! 


Day by day!
-CS <3

Weigh In Day!

Even though it is only day 3, i chose to make Friday my weigh in day...also.. doesn't help that we are doing the "Live Healthy Challenge" at work and Friday is the weigh in day for that...ANY-HOOT!

I lost 2 lbs this week! 

Which is wonderful! I really feel great about this time...it is only day 3 but i think my head finally checked back in, where my heart has always been, in the weight loss journey!! Lets hope it is for good! I am only going to take it day by day because i do not want to set myself up for failure!

I made a goal a couple of weeks ago, it was to not leave the house with out makeup...because everyday I felt like this:

It seemed like no matter how much coffee I was drinking or how early i would go to bed...nothing helped...every time i looked in the mirror i was defeated. So I made the goal to always wear makeup...

I am going to introduce you to me....here is a before and after, not much of a difference you may think...but when you look into a mirror it makes all the difference in the world...

My name is Shasta, I am 28 years old, I have an almost 3 year old daughter. I am a single mom. DB is my, world, my heart and my soul! I work full time then come home and take care of my baby! She is a huge part/reason I HAVE/NEED to get healthy! I hope I can inspire some of you through my journey. I know there is going to be some ups and some downs, but i am only human and i will be taking this day by day!

This weeks goal: 

I am going to try to write a blog every week day...Monday through Friday....

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Shasta AKA CheapSoda

The end of day one....

I would have to say today wasn't so bad. I counted my calories and everything. I have to remember, DAY BY DAY!!!

Today I wasn't super hungry until after work, i had to go pick up my mom from the airport, so we didn't get home until 7ish. We did make a quick pit stop at Sprouts because I wanted to make a new dinner! That is what i am going to share with you tonight!

I record my weight/activity/food on an app/website called Fat Secret I love this app! The only bad thing about today was i went over my 1300 calorie limit that i gave to myself, but only by 66 calories so it isn't a big deal to me and i am not going to beat myself up about it! So there was this recipe called Zucchini Noodles that just drew me in, I was so curious I just had to make it tonight, and now i want to share!!! But you will have to wait until tomorrow night when i will have more time!

Goodnight all! and here is to day one complete!

CS

On the Wagon

Do you ever really look at food and lifestyle as an addiction? 

What makes you fall off the wagon from being "clean" anyway?

How come it is so hard to get back on track when you have been defeated? It seems like all the excuses in the world are there to block your path to better health, happiness, life, etc.

Why is it so hard to just leap over those excuses?

I had originally lost 40 lbs as of February 2011. Since then I have gained 20 of them back. I cannot make excuses for why I gained them back, I just have to make changes. 

Today marks my first day with no soda and no fast food.

This is my first of many goals.

Wish me luck!

Let's Do Work!

-CS-